


Drive thru philosophy

by YunoJuno



Category: Tokyo Ghoul
Genre: A little bit of seriousness later on, Abuse, Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - College/University, Angst, Attachment Issues, F/M, Fast Food, Humor, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Implied/Referenced Mental Health Issues, Juuzou is a stalker, M/M, Past Relationship(s), Romance, Roommates, Theft, They're Broke As Fuck, a bit OOC
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-07
Updated: 2018-12-02
Packaged: 2019-08-20 08:20:17
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 11
Words: 8,931
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16552256
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/YunoJuno/pseuds/YunoJuno
Summary: Arguing about the ethics of theft at a shitty fast food resturant after midnight can lead to unexpected things.





	1. Fight me in the parking lot

**Author's Note:**

> Okay so Juuzou acts kind of really weird but I promisse that it will be explained in later chapeters.  
> Seidou is basically acting like a mix of his origial TG and :Re self with a dash of exhaused fast food employee/student.  
> Enjoy!

The crisp night air was polluted with exhaust gases, what should have been a beautiful cloud free night sky full of stars was dimmed by a multitude of artificial light. Seidou threw another hateful glance at the streetlight next to his tiny window. If only it didn’t exist then maybe the shadows cast by the unsightly cementbloc- a sorry excuse of a house- might have made it dark enough to at least pretend to be anywhere but here. Now it only served to illuminate a dumpster and some paper scraps blowing across the street.

The mic sparked to life, informing Seidou that someone would come pick up an order of three milkshakes and a coffee with extra whipped cream. Probably a bunch of drunken teens getting home from a party at two-am. Tomorrow they were going to hate themselves as much as he hated them right now. Granted, he too was a broke college student who was going to regret working a ridiculously late shift at a horrible fast food chain when he had to wake up for early morning classes later that day. But Seidou pretty much hated himself too, so he figured it was justified.

A bright red car pulled up to the window. Seidou was surprised to see that there was only one person in the vehicle. Ruffled white hair, red rimmed eyes, three hair ties desperately knotted into a stupid hairdo, probably just to keep the hair out of his-could be a her, it was too dark to tell properly- face. They cleared their throat and Seidou realised he had been staring. Wow, he must be even more tired than he initially thought. Awkwardly he handed over the cupholder and it’s four mugs.

As soon as the desired items had been acquired the stranger ripped the lid off of the first cup, then the next. Seidou watched bemused until he found the one with coffee and downed it in ten seconds flat.

“Um, it’s pretty-”

“Hot! hothothot! ah!”

Too late. The dumbass poured the first cold milkshake down his throat, making some of it run down his chin and drip onto the car interior. It was

“Crap! This isn’t my car.”

Despite himself Seidou chuckled a little at the silliness. Looking back up at the stranger he was met with a pair of red eyes- either they were natural or an aftereffect of pulling an all nighter, Seidou couldn’t tell- and a very solemn expression.

“I do respect property,” the guy nodded to himself like he was explaining something very important “I simply wish some of it was my own so I could respect it even more...”

Seidou stared at the guy, baffled. What the hell was he supposed to answer to that? The guy leaned against his rolled down window and sipped loudly on the third drink. It was at this point Seidou realized he was seriously going to consume all of them by himself. He didn’t seem drunk but Seidou entertained the possibility of drugs. Or he was just a nutcase. At this point Seidou couldn’t care less, he wanted this person to leave him alone so that he could drift off into half-slumber until it was time to leave.

“G. K. Chesterson.” The crazy finished, sounding a little disappointed he hadn’t garnerd a satisfying reaction. When the silence dragged on he spoke up again.

“To live is to steal. Simply by existing on this plane do we take from others. Oh, I’m Juuzou!” He waved a little, knocking over a pile of books and papers that had been lying in the passenger seat. Seidou caught a glimpse of titles like ‘Philosophy 101’

‘Don’t entertain the crazy. Don’t entertain the crazy.’ Seidou scolded himself for even considering engaging in a conversation.

“You’re blocking the drive thru.” He muttered.

“There is no one in line, stuupid. What’s your name?” Juuzou leaned further out the car window, pressing his shoulders through, far enough that Seidou seriously thought he was going to crawl out.

“Takizawa!” Juuzou exclaimed when he had gotten a good look at the nametag.

“Please… Just go.”

“What’s your first name? address? number?” Juuzou continued his relentless onslaught of questions. Seidou cringed and prepared to ask something he was sure going to regret.

“If I give you my number will you leave.”

“Hm, lets see… Yeah.”

… Which was the story of how Juuzou Suzuya ended up with Takizawa’s number and Seidou Takizawa ended up with a headache.


	2. Stalker with a crush

At first Seidou had ignored the messages, hoping their sender would think he had been given a fake number or simply grow tired of sending messages without an answer, or even being left on read. Then he had gotten a voicemail, a cheerful voice chirping “I know this is your number, Seidou Takizawa.”

Which was pretty disconcerting, considering that he had never told the crazy his first name. Not his last one either, Juuzou had read it off of his employee nametag. Seidou ended up blocking the number.

Three days later he was working at the register when a familiar face leaned on the counter. There was a smile directed his way, one that sent chills running down his spine. Suddenly the collar of his stupid off-white shirt felt itchy and he got an urge to pull at it. A dull ache in his left hand alerted Seidou that he had been gripping the edge of the cashregister hard enough to turn his knuckles white. He let go and resigned himself to giving Juuzou a professional smile. His cheeks felt a little stiff.

“I’ll have a milkshake.”

“Strawberry or raspberry?”

“Hm, one of each. Hey, you never responded to my texts!”

“Small, medium or large?”

“Large.”

“That’ll be 6$”

“So, when are your shifts? I didn’t see you here yesterday.” Wow that wasn’t disturbing at all, Seidou thought sarcastically, doing his best to ignore the way Juuzou tried to balance on the tips of his toes to achieve equal height. Because it was pretty cute and that thought was kind of scary, so instead of answering he muttered “you’re blocking the line.”

“Was it something I said? Did I mess up again?!”

Seidou could feel the glares from customers. Any second now the manager would come out, demanding to know what the problem was and Seidou could picture the chain of events clearly in his mind. Juuzou would say something that would be misinterpreted and Matsuri would glare even more than usually and tell him to take his personal affairs outside and if he had really bad luck Seidou might need to find a new job before the day was over. Sighing he glanced down at the shorter boy who had given up trying to match his height (that wasn’t that great anyhow- Seidou had to at least admit that was pretty good for his confidence).

“Why don’t we talk when I get off work,” he proposed diplomatically. Juuzou tilted his head as if considering it and then nodded in approval, taking his drinks and heading to a table. Seidou plastered another customer-service smile onto his face and prepared to take the next order.

When it was time to leave he briefly considered sneaking out through the backdoor, then his phone plinged signaling another message ‘^_^’ and he realised he had to put an end to this.

Juuzou was standing outside, propped up against the cold wall, playing something on his phone and looking badly dressed for the chilly weather. Seidou walked up to him to lean against the facade beside him.

Without looking up from his phone the white haired teen greeted him with “so what’s your schedule?”

“Why are you so obsessed with my schedule?” Seidou asked, fully intent on not handing it over to him.

“How am I supposed to see you otherwise?”

“You never considered, you know, meeting me outside of work?” The moment the words escaped his lips he knew he would come to regret them. Juuzou looked up from his phone and grinned and he became even surer of it.

“When are you free?”

“That’s not… That’s not what I meant.”

Juuzou looked at him evenly and repeated his question. Seidou repeated his answer, less hesitantly this time. Juuzou repeated his question again.

“Look, you need to stop this. You’re obviously crazy and I don’t want any part in it.” Seidou glared. He felt very rude but the constant messages were driving him insane. The two of them didn’t even know each other, yet this… stalker kept pestering him.

“I don’t… I’m…” A distressed look was forming on Juuzou’s face. A voice in Seidou’s head reminded him it was because of his words. He continued to stare at Juuzou with an impassive face. Juuzou’s hands were trembling, twitching as if grabbing something and squeezing hard. Seidou didn’t want to consider what Juuzou imagined he was holding. The tremble traveled up his arms and now he seemed like he was going to cry. The accusing voice in his head hammered at his temples and in the end Seidou gave up.

The next day he woke up with a headache, to a mess he would have to clean- later, he muttered to himself- and letter addressed to himself.

‘meeting at thursday 2 PM.   
if you don’t remember this it   
means you managed to drink   
yourself into forgetting your   
troubles. i already regret this.

there’s food in the fridge.  
/drunk you’

Seidou put his head in his hands and silently despaired.


	3. The best worst date

It was the kind of day perfect for staying in, grey and dreary. Trash rustled across the street in the wind and drops of water lightly fell onto Seidou’s head, as if the heavens themselves disagreed with his life decisions. That hadn’t been an issue when he had left home earlier in the morning but on his way here it has started raining, an unwelcome surprise. It was his day off and he hated the notion of arriving at work despite it. Not that he was going to work but the sight of the boring, cold, dirty building was depressing really.

Juuzou was already there when he arrived. Standing under a jutting out part of roof he bounced back and forth on his heels excitedly.

“You came!” You didn’t give me much of a choice, Seidou internally responded. Instead he nodded “yeah…”

“Where to?” Juuzou asked and Seidou looked at him sourly “you’re the one who initiate this.”

“Oh. Huh yeah, I did.” Juuzou nodded like he had just said something very profound and that was the end of the conversation. Seidou told himself not to care. He had come here for one reason and one reason only. He would spend some time with the crazy and then tell him that this was just not working out. For all he cared they could stand here in front of a fastfood restaurant in the rain and biting wind for an hour. Yes, that's right…

…

…

…

Fuck, it was cold.

“The mall, come on.” Without waiting for a response he grabbed Juuzou’s hand and headed for the bus stop. Considering how the younger had pestered him to spend time together before he should be happy with whatever Seidou decided to drag him along to.

Being a broke college student shopping for fun wasn’t something he was accustomed to. The last time Seidou had bothered to look through stores to pass time had been sometime back in highschool when Akira dragged him along for some reason or another. She had always been the one to buy scented candles and minimalistic decorations and neat blouses and yet someway, somehow she was still the one with the most money out of them every. single. time. Seidou had given up trying to understand it by now.

So it was understandable that he felt a little awkward walking store to store with Juuzou skipping ahead. But if he ever wished to catch a break it had never been like this. Now Juuzou had gotten down on his knees and put his hands in a prayer position in front of a nondescript store.

“What?! What are you doing?”

Tears prickled at white eyelashes as Juuzou whispered “There used to be a Toys R Us here.”

Pulling Juuzou to his feet Seidou looked around and then down, hating the curious glances now sent their way.

“There is a goddamn toy store in the other end of the building you loon.” He was pulling Juuzou along to go see it, while the later was whining something that sounded like “but it’s not toysreruusss…” and it didn’t get much better from there.

After many a store visits Seidou had to sit down on a bench and breath for a few minutes. Juuzou’s presence was oddly easy to get pulled along with, leaving him exhausted and hungry.

“I’m hungry,” he complained.

“I got no money to buy us food.” Juuzou chirped in. Well there was no way Seidou was going to pay either.

“Then how come you kept buying those milkshakes. They taste awful and you know it.”

“Ehehe, I spent the last of my allowance on that because I wanted to see you,” Juuzou had the decency to look sheepish.

“Wait here!” He suddenly shouted and took off, leaving Seidou alone to think about those words.

Seidou found it oddly endearing. He had spent the whole day repeating his mantra of ‘don’t entertain the crazy’ yet here he was, tired to the bone, thinking how bad could it be. At the same time he thought that he answered his own question. Bad, very very bad.  
He didn’t need a relationship with anyone other than Akira and Amon. It wasn’t worth it, not anymore. And certainly not a person who obviously had a couple screws loose. It wasn’t a risk he was willing to take… His train of thought was interrupted by messy white hair and a pretty smile filling up his view.

“Hey! So; um, if I would- hypothetically- take something that was given away for free it cant be considered stealing right?”

“What have you done now?”

Slender wrists presented Seidou with a pair of delicate hands full of tiny plastic cups. Each and everyone was filled to the brim with food of various colours and shapes.

“What the hell?!” Juuzou smiled weakly.

“Free samples. FREE samples!”

“You’re supposed to take ONE! That’s the only reason they’re free.”

“Shut up and eat.”

In the end they had a romantic dinner under the moonlight. Well, as romantic as two absolute broke idiots can afford, while the moon was nowhere to bee seen and grey clouds swarmed the sky coupled with light rain. But still kind of romantic Juuzou thought.

Seidou forgot he was supposed to put an end to it all.


	4. T is for Trauma

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> TW: Abuse  
> Gosh writing this chapter was pretty uncomfortable since it made me remember things from my own childhood lmaooo...

Angry red numbers blinked sharply on the digital clock, informing Seidou it was currently 1:14 am. He ignored the knocking on the door until it quieted down. He didn’t know who wished to disturb at this hour when you should by all accounts be sleeping but he had a pretty good idea. he ignored the fact that he wasn’t asleep either. It had been easier and easier to sleep as time went on, but he still woke up in a cold sweat some nights, as much as he would deny it every time Akira accused him of crying in his sleep.

The knocking resumed once again, harder this time. He looked at the clock. 1:17. Seidou glanced back over his shoulder. If this continued there was no doubt someone would wake up. Other than him, that was. He told himself not to open the door.

He didn’t listen to himself.

It was exactly the person he had been expecting, however the rest of the sight was not. Juuzou looked much unlike the upbeat teen he had gotten to know over the last days. His eyelids were heavy, a red that signified he had been rubbing away at them at some point earlier. The nose had taken on a matching flaming colour and his eyes were slightly bloodshot.

“I brought chips. Let’s watch a movie.” Juuzou held up a plastic bag and attempted a smile- it ended in a painful grimace.

Seidou got that feeling that if he just shut the door and gave Juuzou the cold shoulder he would be left alone. It was that kind of moment, he could see it in the gaze bordering on pleading.

But Seidou recognized that gaze, he knew it by heart. He couldn’t turn Juuzou away in this kind of state. So he stepped aside and let his- when he thought about it, what were they exactly?- inside.

They didn’t even argue about which movie to watch. Seidou leaned against the pillows as Juuzou found a movie on his laptop and drifted into a half slumber after only a couple of minutes, finding the quiet rustling and crunching kind of calming. He was surprised at himself for being able to relax like this.

“My biological parents died when I was four.” Juuzou blurted out. Seidou, half-awake and entirely stupefied at the revelation and even more so shocked at the casualness Juuzou displayed as he continued talking.

“They didn’t think anyone would want me after that. Most people choose to adopt infants. An adoptee's chances are pretty much halved when they’re just three years old. But when I was five I got adopted,” He gave a bitter snort at this, and Seidou could tell that it wasn’t a good thing.

“My mama would hurt me. And sometimes I wonder what could have been, you know, if I got to do normal childhood stuff. If I had spent those years collecting plushies instead of bruises. If I wasn’t constantly so tired from not daring to sleep. If I had… If I had just…” The rest is choked off by quiet sobs.

“It’s not your fault,” Seidou mumbled, rubbing circles on his back. Because that’s what Juuzou needed to hear- maybe. He hoped it was because now they were said, hanging heavy in the air between them.

Juuzou covered his face with hair, hugging his knees. The touch was soft, gentle. Yet it felt cold like the hands of death. It took every ounce of his power not to flinch away but he still shuddered. The pressure of Seidou’s hand lightened, now barely hovering above his back.

Juuzou trembled as he leaned back, wanting more of the comfort his body wildly rejected. Seidou carefully reached out once again and put his arms around Juuzou from behind. The younger inhaled sharply and let himself go limp.

Suddenly the air inside Seidou’s tiny room felt too warm and too cold at the same time. Comforting but scary. Silent and too loud at the same time. The breaths grew heavy,becoming synchronized.

In the end that was how they fell asleep, tangled in each other and their ghosts. Juuzou never did tell Seidou why he had shown up at his doorstep crying.


	5. My teacher gives me a ride home

Bright sunlight pressed on his eyelids, urging Seidou to get up. His first thought was that he had forgotten to close the blinds for once, but then a white blob descended upon him like hell itself. Seidou screeched as Juuzou laughed, telling him to get up.

When Seidou had calmed down he pushed Juuzou away and practically rolled off the bed, looking for something to wear. They had fallen asleep in their normal clothes and Seidou felt gross- he didn’t know about Juuzou though, he might actually be the type to do that on a regular basic. He was quirky enough that it did seem like a very real possibility. Seidou’s musings were interrupted by someone slamming the door open, forcing both him and Juuzou to jump back as to not get hit by it. The sharp corner of his desk made contact with his back and he winced.

In the door frame stood Akira, looking as poised as always. When her eyes caught sight of Juuzou her face was momentarily thrown into shock, within a second taking on a calm look once again, just a little bit colder than before.

“Who are you?”

Seidou had to bite his lip to physically stop himself from answering her question. Because he knew anything he had to say wouldn’t go far to convince Akira to lay down the metaphorical battle axe she had subconsciously brought forth. Seidou knew she just was just caring about him in her own way but sometimes it was infuriating, the way she seemed to be convinced he lacked any form of judgement. It was one time, damn it. One scarring horrible time, but one time.

“Juuzou Suzuya, ma’am!”

Akira looked over at Seidou, who shrugged his shoulders and adjusted so the desk stopped digging into his back uncomfortably. A second of absolute silence passed until Akira seemed to have decided Juuzou wasn’t a completely detestable idiot and relaxed a little, leaning against the doorframe with crossed arms. Seidou let out a breath he didn’t realise he had been holding.

“Amon and I were going to eat breakfast before your screaming scared the hell out of Maris Stella so…” Akira left the sentence unfinished.

“Breakfast sounds great!” Seidou finished, looking over at Juuzou. Juuzou nodded enthusiastically.

Two hours later on a train shakily moving through the city Juuzou kicked his legs against the seat, making idle conversation.

“I like your roommates. They're a little weird though.”

“You’re weird.” Seidou countered, having offered- read, been talked into- following Juuzou home.

The apartment juuzou claimed to live in looked a lot better than Seidou had expected it to. It was located in the fancy part of the city, overlooking a park. At this time of the year the trees had shifted in yellows and reds, almost giving you the impression they were on fire. Soon they would fall to the ground and become rotten and brown but for now they were beautiful to look at. Juuzou skipped ahead without even sparing them a glance while Seidou walked a little bit behind, admiring them.

Inside of the house there occured a change in atmosphere. The walls were as pristinely painted as the facade but the stairwell was filled with an odd smell, like old smoke and a little bit of wet dog (it reminded Seidou a bit of when he was younger, when he used to have pet dog). The stair handle looked like it once upon a time used to be red, though now it was worn to the point that dull, grey metal was peeking through.

Juuzou led them up five flights of stairs, passing some mysterious gray spots on the wall and a few cracked tiles. They ended up in front of a door with a sign proclaiming the place belonged to one ‘Shinohara’ .

When the door wouldn’t open itself Juuzou knocked on it. Steps neared the door, but apparently not fast enough for the younger’s tastes as he kicked the door lightly. A second later the door was opened by a man in his thirties, who looked awfully familiar.

“Juuzou! Where did you go this time?” Seidou duly noted the ‘this time’. This was a recurring problem, apparently.

“I was with Takizawa!” Juuzou gestured at his companion and as Shinohara looked over at him curiously Seidou realised why the man had been uncannily familiar. It was Yukinori Shinohara, his teacher. By the look on Shinohara’s face Seidou could tell he too had been recognized. Shinohara smiled kindly and invited them in. Seidou awkwardly shuffled inside and slipped off his shoes.

Shinohara offered him some coffee which he declined, and a ride home which he accepted gratefully.

While the city was passing by in vague shapes and blurry blotches of color Seidou was kind of regretting it. Sure, taking the subway back might take considerably more time but at least he would be rid of this awkward atmosphere. Shinohara could probably sense it too.

“So you and Juuzou, huh?” Seidou acknowledged the consideration, trying to make idle conversation to avoid the stiff air but he wished Shinohara would just be quiet.

“Yeah, somehow.” Seidou mumbled.

“I apologize on his behalf for, well he can be a little... intense sometimes” Seidou nodded mutely in response. Shinohara continued.

“I don’t know how much he has told you but...”

“I gathered he didn’t have.. the best of childhoods.” Seidou cut him off. This conversation was dragging along like a dying man trying to reach for the last glimpse of life in his vision, just out of reach. Dragging his spilling guts over the floor trying to walk the fine line of taking too long and losing everything and hurrying along, making one too many careless mistakes. It was painful to be a part of.

“No, he really didn't. As a result Juuzou developed a sort of, attachment issue I suppose you’d call it. He has this habit of not being very well aware of the concept of personal space and generally bothering strangers. He does it to everyone actually, so try not to take offence to it if he ever does it to you. Ah, we’re here. See you in class, Takizawa-kun.”

“See ya.” Seidou mumbled and hurried to get out of the car, fumbling with his keys. The clear fall air tasted like ash in his mouth and he started to feel a little ill. Shinohara’s words did bother him but not in the way the older man might think.


	6. The case of cuddles

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ugh i'm sickkkk

Seidou knew perfectly well why he felt like shit. It wasn’t because he stayed up for another all nighter or because they had a test in biology today, like Akira claimed. It was because there literally wasn’t any reason for Juuzou to have choose him over anyone else. He just so happened to be the first fool to go along with this ridiculousness.

‘He does it to everyone actually’ Shinohara had said.

Had he really been enough of an idiot to think he was someone’s first choice for once? Hell they had met in a drive thru at three am, dark enough that he hadn’t even been able to tell if Juuzou was a girl or a boy.

There had been a text earlier in the morning from Juuzou asking about going to see some movie. Seidou had texted back a short reply along the lines of ‘I don’t have any money dumbass’.

It made him wonder, did Juuzou ever wish he had ended up stalking some poor guy with a little more money? Who was a bit taller and less rude maybe…

Whatever. They could hang out in the park or something. because Seidou was for sure not going to school today. He sent the idea to Juuzou and waited.

He had to wait thirty minutes before he got an answer, but for Seidou it felt like an eternity. He was laying under the blankets and moaning in pain (very much psychological, but she didn’t need to know that) whenever Akira came to check on him. And when he finally got an answer it wasn’t the one he was expecting.

‘Sorry, important lecture at 11 am’

Oh, had he finally tired of Seidou? It only took about a week or so. He was disappointed but not surprised.

The rest of the day went by in a miserable haze. Self-pity was pathetic but he couldn’t help it. Insecurities held him down like a weighted blanket. The clock ticked on and on, tiny red numbers in chunky robotic shapes. He wondered if anyone had ever died of feelings. He could imagine it, like smoke building up inside his person, pressing on and he held it in until it blew up and ashes poured out of every orifice in his body painting the room a pitch black. He could vividly imagine the dark mist drifting into the hallway, covering the kitchen like that time Amon had tried making pancakes like Akira did, wafting out if the windows until someone though it was a fire and called 911. The images in his head felt more real than the smothering air in his room. Seidou sighed and fell asleep once again.

He was woken up about three hours later (if the clock hadn’t broken which was a very real possibility, it was basically an antique). Juuzou was looking down at him where he laid from his position on top of the desk. His hair looked even wilder than usual, like an angry wind god had decided he was jealous of it and tried to ruin it. It was kind of cute.

“Juuzou… what’re you doing here?”

Juuzou shifted, knocked over a coffee cup filled with pens, tried to save it, failed and jumped off of the desk to come sit beside Seidou on the bed.

“My lecture is over, sooo i figured I should come visit you. You didn’t answer my texts.”

“Sorry…” It wasn’t his fault, he had been fast asleep but he still felt like he should apologize.

“Why are you apologizing? It’s not like you did something wrong… Though I did get a little impatient. You know, the bus wouldn’t come so I ran the whole way here! Ahhhh, I need to replenish my calories!” Juuzou kept chatting excitedly, and Seidou felt a little warm inside. Maybe it had been a complete coincidence that they had gotten to know each other. But now they were here, together, and it was pretty dang nice.

“Heeeey! You listening?” Juuzou waved his hand in front of Seidou’s face.

“Sorry, I was just thinking about that I really like you.” Juuzou’s eyes went wide. It was the first time time Seidou had said something even remotely cute to him (which was very understandable since he had mostly been bothering the other).

“Ahhhh I love you!” Juuzou jumped up and down, finally throwing his whole body weight at Seidou embracing him.

“G-get off!” Juuzou didn’t, and they kept play fighting on the bed until it creaked ominously and they rolled off of it with a loud ‘thunk’

And nothing was perfect but everything was alright.


	7. My girlfriend is back and you gonna get in trouble

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> this was gonna be a happy feel good story but then i started to project my abused life onto it and here we are?

Juuzou was great. Once you got over the whole ‘stalking thing’ he was the best, funniest, cutest boyfriend you could have. the only thing holding them back was Juuzou’s inability to understand normal social interaction and Seidou’s habit of not being able to act fucking normally. Or at least that was how he phrased it himself.

In a tiny kitchen with golden sunlight filtering through the blinds he was complaining to a stony-faced Akira about it all.

“If i didn’t just… flinch every time he tries to hold my hand or... or get a mini heart attack every time he gets a mood swing or apologize for every little thing I do then maybe we could be more normal!” Seidou exclaimed. Akira took another sip of herbal tea (no caffeine after dinner, of course. Seidou glanced down at his cup of pitch black coffee).

“Why are you blaming yourself? I mean you’re right, you are stupid. But it’s not because of those things.”

A pause.

“You never considered just telling Juuzou? Being a little open about yourself? Even after everything he told you?”

She was right. After what Juuzou had entrusted him with he had no right at all to be this stupid. He was the worst boyfriend in the world. The worst, the worst, the-

“Look I’m sorry,” Akira said when she saw his upset face “but honesty is the best policy.”

“Well what am I supposed to tell him, hey love I don’t hate you it’s just that my last relationship ended with my psycho girlfriend trying to murder me?!”

“Uh, maybe a little more deliberately worded? But essentially yes.”

“Whatever.” Were the last words said between them as Seidou remained glued in his place at the countertop and Akira left to be productive. he should probably tell Juuzou. Tomorrow.

Seidou hadn’t been able to fall asleep until well after midnight despite his constant need for more hours of shut-eye and he was fairly sure it was not just the coffee.

The next day he was going to talk to Juuzou. He just had to get ready in the morning. And attend his classes. And, and-

‘Just send him a fucking message’ Akira’s glare told him and he did. It wasn’t anything special just a short ‘can we talk later?’

But anything that he had planned to tell Juuzou was flung out the window. Or rather thrown roughly enough to break it, getting impales with millions of tiny, sharp glass shards in the proces. That green hair, that petite frame, those cold calculating eyes.

“This is Eto Yoshimura. She will be joining us as a teacher's assistant as part of her education.” Seidou sank a deeper into his seat and the hard wooden edge cut into his tight. He didn’t notice.

“Hello everyone! I look forward to working with you all.” A smile stretched from one corner of her face to the other, widden uncannily as she fixed Seidou with her gaze and winked at him. He could feel Akira glowering from where she was sitting beside him.

The millisecond the lecture ended Seidou shot up from his seat, making his way toward the door at inhuman speed. Somehow, someway Eto managed to be even faster and stepped in front of him. She grabbed his arm.

Seidou froze on the spot. his heart was beating faster than what could possibly be healthy and it continued to speed up as sharp nails dug into his arm. She was like a rosebush, millions of tiny, bloodthirsty needles hiding among the wild emerald foliage, digging into him deeper the more he struggled.

“Something wrong?” A third voice entered, looking concerned at Seidou’s dumbfounded expression.

“Nothing at all. He’s just surprised to see me here, we actually used to date. can you believe it? Haha. Right, Takizawa?” Eto looked over at him, sharply. He didn’t dare speak up.

“Oh, so that’s it. You are a lucky one, monsieur.” One of his classmates, Tsukiyama Shuu replied already charmed by Eto’s act. He turned and continued walking out of the room, Hori Chie on his heels. Seidou looked after him with something akin to panic. Watching him walk away was akin to watching the last grains of sand fall down an hourglass. Ding dong, your time had run out.

“Yoshimura. Fuck off.” Blond hair filled Seidou’s vision and it took him a second to realise he was looking at the back of Akira’s head. She was standing directly in front of Eto, eyebrows knit together and lips pulled down into a frown. This had to be the the first time Seidou had ever heard Mado swear on campus. Hell, it was probably the first time he had heard her swear while sober.

“Ahahaha. Mado, as friendly as always.” Eto laughed mockingly but she turned away and walked off nonetheless. Akira sighed tiredly and turned towards Seidou “let’s go.” He could only nod.

It didn’t matter if Eto was out of his sight. It didn’t matter whether she was a thirty minutes train ride away from him or on the other side of the earth, Seidou was positive a little part of her would always be handing over his shoulder, a tiny voice mocking everything he did while smiling serenely. He thought he was over this. If not completely than at least enough to put on a facade of normality.

However it seemed like her reappearance had shaken him to the core. The sound of the doorbell was enough to make him flinch like a piece of rock had just been flung in his direction, instead of soundwaves. Akira had to open the door.

He could hear muttering voices in the hallway, too quiet for him to distinguish what was being said but loud enough to recognize who was speaking. Oh, with everything that had happened Seidou had completely forgot he was supposed to meet Juuzou.

He didn’t know what he was supposed to feel when said boy appeared in the doorway. Juuzou looked at him like he was aware of the situation and Seidou concluded Akra had told him. Instead of saying anything Juuzou just plopped down beside him and leaned back comfortably. No touching, which was fine. It was perfect actually. Once Akira had tried to hug him while something similar had gone down and he damn near killed them both by managing to tip their soffa over and crush them.

After five minutes of silence Seidou reached out and carefully brushed his trembling hand against Juuzou’s pale one. Juuzou relaxed a little and leaned in to lay his head on Seiodu's shoulder.

“I love you, remember that.”

“Mhh..”


	8. Clearly our opinions are divided

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Short chapter with long title

Akira glared, absolutely livid. She had a hard time believing Amon would ever say something so stupid. Evidently, she had been wrong.

“If he says to let him handle it he can obviously do so.” Amon said, raised voice. He was nothing but a calm man when dealing with her, but as their argument had escalated so had his tone.

“You weren’t there! You have no idea what he went through!” Akira shouted back, gesturing wildly. She, too, was usually a calm person. calculated, efficient. About every single adjective that served as an antonym to her current state.

“I think you need to have a little more faith in Takizawa-kun.”

“Do you want to know what I think? I think that you are in no position to preach about how to handle bad relationships from your past, I think that you handled the situation with Donato exceptionally badly and I think that you are a coward that needs to back off if you aren’t going to be of any help!” Akira took a step forwards, making Amon take a step back. The air felt flaming hot, burning their skin. They stood like that for a second.

Then, like a spell breaking they both registered what Akira had said.

“Shit, Amon I’m sorry…” Akira tried but Amon just shrugged his shoulders and walked out of the kitchen. Akira slumped back to len against the countertop. It was a light wood, the one she had told Amon would inevitably become full of very visible stains. She had been right. Idly she traced a triangle shaped vaguely coffee coloured mark, then moved onto one which she knew for a fact had been orange juice.

Akira was used to getting her way. This time, however, she wasn’t so sure the end was worth the means. In the other room Takizawa gritted his teeth, wrapping his arms around an old pillow case like he was trying to choke it to death, trying to pretend he had heard absolutely nothing.


	9. 191 centimeters of salvation

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> How is Amon even allowed to be that fucking tall!?

It had been an unfairly cold february morning when Seidou’s padlock had given up and decided to make itself essentially impossible to close. He knew already back then that it would take several weeks before he did anything about it. But even Seidou had to admit he was surprised the broken thing had stayed with him two years despite its sorry state. By now he was used to the idiotic thing, it had become so natural to him the he even stopped thinking of replacing it after a while.

But right now he wanted nothing but to replace it. Because of his idiotic lock and his idiotic self he had stayed behind just a little too late and the person he least wanted to run into had caught up to him. Seidou pressed the palm of his hand into the binder he was carrying, trying to summon enough pain to tune out her words.

“-and it’s not like I had a choice at that point. Takizawa, I really do love you,” Eto said, looking every bit sympathetic, that is until a smile tugged at her lips and she parted them to continue “but it’s not my fault you continue to mess up.”

It became harder to breathe, no matter what he wanted to say in retaliation he couldn’t get the words to leave his throat. They lay there, scratching until Seidou thought he was going to start coughing blood.

“Aw baby, stop acting like such a child. We both know you’re just faking it to get out of talking to me.” She stepped closer, her nails glinting far too sharply. Like tiny razor claws ready to tear at his heart or wrists, whichever he bared fist. Seidou could feel actual Tears pricking at his eyes now.

“No one but me will love someone as cowardly as you. But fine go ahead and leave if you want to, with no consideration of all the time and money I’ve wasted trying to be a good girlfriend. Get the fuck out of my sight and know it will make you just as, if not worse than me.” Eto’s voice was a venomous hiss.

Like divine intervention someone came walking down the hall. Amon wore a black fluffy jacket that made his already broad frame look even bigger. By all means, he should be an intimidating figure but Seidou felt nothing but relief at the appearance of a familiar face.

“What is happening?”

“Ah, nothing special”- lies- “ We just so happened to run into each other” - lies, lies, lies.

As she sauntered away Eto leaned in to whisper in his ear “I’ll run you over like I did your dog.”

Giggling Eto skipped away, leaving a shell shocked Seidou and a confused Amon behind. A confused Amon who was not getting his questions answered any time soon.

“I’m fine, really.” Seidou kept insisting every time he asked, refusing to divulge any further information. Amon looked down at the shorter boy with a disbelieving face, eyeing the tear streaks down his cheeks and general atmosphere surrounding him.

When they arrived at their apartment Seidou realised Akira was home, paled, threw his bag on the floor and was back out the door in a hurry “‘m going for a walk!”

The cold metal of the stairs made a loud sound as it made contact with his shoes. Too loud, too much, get me out of here! The cold night air wasn’t refreshing as much as it was sharp, hitting his face like blades. At the end of the stairwell Seidou tripped, fell forward, caught himself on the railing and spun around ninety degrees to continue running down the street now with a bloody palm he barely noticed.

It seemed like the moon had decided to stay inside tonight which was fine because there were plenty of streetlights illuminating the night. They cast an ugly yellow light making everything look like it was made of wax. In his mind it all melted, the disgusting liquid crawled up his legs and he continued to run until he was out of breath. When Seidou stopped to look around he realised he had ended up in the park he and Juuzou visited once while running from his illusions.

With an exhausted sigh Seidou slumped down onto a bench. It was cold.

A tiny pling that sounded so much louder in this silence erupted from Seidou’s phone.

‘Whwere r u?!’ from ‘Juu’

‘Where*’

‘no seriously im freaking’

Seidou didn’t want to talk to Akira, or Amon for that matter. But something was oddly compelling about the thought of spilling his guts to Juuzou. Was it because he knew Juuzou had endured something similar? No, even if he hadn’t Seidou would have wanted him by his side. Juuzou made him feel better, that was just the kind of person he was.

Fifteen minutes later a red faced Juuzou came running towards him. Leaping over the “Do not cross the grass sign” Juuzou raced forward until he came to a halt right in front of Seidou. Breathing heavily Juuzou threw himself down beside Seidou on the bench. While the younger was too busy catching his breath Seidou spoke up.

“Remember that day you came to my apartment crying? I feel like I should have told you already back then but I just… couldn't. I was so afraid of love. I blamed myself for everything that went wrong.”

“Ha...ha..” Juuzou managed to calm down enough to speak “you know I would never blame you. And nothing of this is your fault. Nothing. Understood?”

Instead of answering Seidou looked down at the ground “I’m still afraid.”

“And I will stay here until you aren’t anymore.”

Juuzou leaned in, placing his lips on Seidou’s.


	10. Smooth but not a criminal

Neither Juuzou nor Seidou thought about actually calling Akira or Amon to say thing were okay. They simply counted their blessings when they found the apartment empty and found something to eat.

So when Akira staggered home, chastising herself for running around in heels but knowing that no matter what the logical part of her brain insisted she would have continued to run around like that looking for her roomate. She found them cuddled up in the sofa, eating sandwiches with peanut butter and pickles and she didn’t know wether to be relieved or furious. The ache in her feet decided for her.

“You are an irresponsible idiot!” Her face faltered as Seidou burst out in hysterical laugh. Juuzou poked him but he continued so Juuzou joined in with his higher pitched giggles. Akira looked at them like they were crazy- which they might very well be- and Seidou calmed down to try and explain himself.

“You’ve been walking on eggshells around me for the past days.. It’s just refreshing.”

“Whatever, you should have at least called so I didn’t have to waste two hours worrying like that.” But Akira was smiling as she said it. Then she walked off to her room, partially to give the lovebirds some space and partially to call Amon to tell him he could stop looking and come home.

Juuzou stayed the night. This time Seidou was woken up much more pleasantly, aka he did not fall off the bed- sofa? Oh they had fallen asleep watching a movie and now there were crumbs all over the sofa. The blasted thing was one of the nicest things they owned, it was bought from IKEA the second day they all had moved in together. Most things in the apartment were brought from their respective homes or bought second hand but not the sofa. Akira loved it dearly. She was so going to murder them.

That is, if the incessant ringing of the doorbell didn’t drive him to suicide first. Seidou suddenly realised what had woken him up. Pushing Juuzou off of him carefully he went to open the door. Juuzou woke up with a tiny cute yawn but stayed behind to snuggle one of the pillows.

On the other side of the door stood Iwao Kuroiwa, one of his teachers. What was he doing here? He looked oddly solemn.

“Takizawa-kun, Marude wants to see you in his office.” It took Seidou approximately half a second to realise something urgent must’ve happened. Otherwise the headmaster could have just sent an email. But the question was, what could possibly be serious enough to warrant a teacher visiting.

“Sure..” Seidou fidgeted uncomfortably with the hem of his shirt. “I’m just going to tell my roommates I’ll be gone for a while.”

It turned out to not be that easy since the moment the words slipped past his lips Juuzou was jumping up and down demanding to come with him. The ruckus attracted Akira and Amon and in the end there were five people instead of two trying to squeeze themselves into Kuroiwa’s car. The man looked distinctly uncomfortable with their new company.

Marude’s reaction to a gang of teenagers storming into his office demanding to know what was going on wasn’t any better. When raising his voice wasn’t enough to bring forth silence he pounded his fist at the table until it was the only sound present.

“Ehrm, Yes Takizawa-kun. You might want to err.. ask your friends to leave.” That didn’t sound good at all. Seidou felt an extreme need to stick with someone who would have his back.

“They can stay, it’s fine.”

“Are you sure?” Marude sounded very dubious. Now it was Juuzou’s turn to step forward.

“Look, whatever you have to say you can say it with us here.” He narrowed his eyes “unless of course you don’t want any witnesses.” The headmaster looked distinctly uncomfortable.

“No of course not. I was more thinking of Takizawa-kun.” He paused to sight before moving on to the reason they were here “it isn’t enjoyable for me to have to say this about any of my students but you are currently under suspicion of theft.”

“What?! Why?”

“Last night someone broke into storage room fifteen and stole a considerable amount of technology. We have talked to everyone else that has a key but they all have alibis. So can you tell me where you were yesterday from five to eight pm?”

“Uh… I was out. I don’t know for how long though.” Seidou felt his mouth go dry. This felt so absurd. He knew exactly how suspicious he sounded and his nervousness wasn’t helping at all. God damn it!

“Was someone with you?” Marude asked, looking at him with skepticism.

“My boyfriend joined me later but at first no, I was alone.” He admitted, looking down at his feet.

Marude sighed, his shoulders slumping a little bit. “Then I’m sorry but we are going to have to conduct an investigation. Meanwhile you will be suspended.” Marude couldn’t have done a better job of making Seidou feel like he had just gotten a bucket of cold water dumped over his head least he actually poured some slightly defrosted ice down the back of his hoodie. Speaking of his hoodie, the black thing that usually served as a cozy comfort now made him feel both itchy and underdressed.

“I didn’t do it!” Seidou protested “I don’t even have my key!”

“Are you trying to tell me you’ve lost it?” Marude looked completely disbelieving, getting tired of Seidou’s last ditch efforts to prove his innocence. It was useless really.

“No I um…” Seidou looked down, halting his speak and contemplating whether it was better to confess whatever he was about to confess or to quietly accept his fate. A nudge from Juuzou helped him make up his mind “I gave it to Yoshimura-san. She has the key.”

“So what you are saying is that I should let you go free and waste precious time and resources investigating Eto Yoshimura while you get more time to hide any evidence pointing against you? Is that it?”

“Please! At least look over the security tapes.” Seidu pleaded.

“She has no reason to do something like this. Eto is not only well off but also very well liked among the staff. Unlike, say, certain students…”

“You want a reason I’ll give you a goddamn reason!” Seidou’s voice took on an angry, panicked tone. He slammed one hand down on the polished surface of Marude’s desk. “She.. she..” Then he trailed off, the words not wanting to come to him. Marude looked on, first startled then unimpressed.

“We’ll be outside.” Akira mumbled and practically dragged Juuzou and Amon outside.

“Why’d you do that?!” Juuzou was shaking Akira by her shoulders, eyes wide. Akira just shrugged him off and explained “I don’t think he would feel very comfortable talking about that in front of more people than necessary.”

“Still…” Juuzou bit his nail anxiously, catching one of the stitches between his teeth and pulling. “...Eto is a real bitch.” Both Akira and Amon nodded in agreement.

Waiting.

Waiting.

It was hell. Expectant, nervous hell waiting like this.

Finally Marude and Seidou emerged from the office room. Seidou looked like a mix between sad and upset while Marude’s face displayed only anger.

“I will immediately have Eto Yoshimura investigated.”

No one felt like cheering, even though the occasion certainly was one that could use some cheering. Insead they all collapsed together in an exhausted hug. Hopefully this was the end, is what they all though.

But life never truly ends until you are lying six feet under.


	11. How to avoid huge ships aka. the kind of cute epilogue

A delicious smell wafted through the apartment.

“Who made popcorn?”

“Me.”

“They’re burnt.”

“Eh.. but it smells so good?”

“I. Said. They’re burnt.”

Okay, geez Akira, I’ll go check on them.” Juuzou rose from the cough with Seidou following closely behind him. They disappeared from the tv room, though in a second their voices were heard loudly from the kitchen.

“Fuck!”  
“So much smoke!”  
“Nonono! Don’t pour water on it!”

Akira should be worried but she can’t help the smile that forms on her lips at the sounds of panic, reminding her what they had to go through to be where they were now, together in her, Amon and Seidou’s apartment watching movies. Eto had not only lost her chance to ever become a proper teacher but had also had to pay a hefty fine for the stuff that she stole. It was found later at the house of one of her friends, Tatara.

Looking over at Amon she caught his gaze, then her eyes traveled to his lips where a small smirk was resting. Oh, so he had seen her smiling to herself. Akira looked at him coldy, daring him to mention it.

Juuzou and Seidou came back, each carrying a bag of chips. No popcorn in sight.

With a “hit it!” from Juuzou Amon took the controller and continued the movie from where it had been paused.

Happiness weren’t given to you, it was something you had to seek out.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's been a long journey, and I want to thank everyoen who Went trough it with me.  
> Kind of said it has to end, kind of happy that I don't have to stress about new chapters (:


End file.
